‘Outlander’ Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Great Scot-land!

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Outlander

Last week’s episode of Outlander brought us to the very nadir of despair. Claire (Caitriona Balfe) lost her baby, Faith, and almost died herself. It turns out that Black Jack Randall (Tobias Menzies) managed to survive his duel with Jamie (Sam Heughan) and has skulked back to England. Claire then had to sleep with the French King to secure Jamie’s release from the Bastille.
It got so bad that Jamie grew a grief beard.

Like I said, it was terrible.
The good news? THIS WEEK WE ARE BACK IN SCOTLAND!

Dear reader, I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that our long Parisian nightmare is over. On a very personal note, all I want in life is to meet and fall in love with a hot Scottish professor — preferably one who is an expert in antiquity or medieval trebuchets — who likes wearing knit wear, sipping whiskey, and hiking for hours at a time. So, yes, bagpipes are my porn and, oh, I am coming.

But enough about me — let’s get back to Claire and Jamie. Things are much better now that they have returned to Lallybroch. Everyone is eating boiled potatoes and talking about how much they all like each other. Of course, nothing gold can stay. Jamie receives a letter that reveals that he and Claire totally did not stop the Scottish Rebellion. Instead, they are now a very big part of it. Oops.

It’s okay because Jamie has a plan! He tells Claire that they should stop trying to change the future in one way and try to change the future in another way. Instead of thwarting Bonnie Prince Charlie’s uprising, Jamie wants to ensure it succeeds.

To wit, he’s going to beg help of his rich grandfather, Lord Lovat. His nickname is “The Old Fox,” and Jenny hates him. It turns out that Jamie’s dad was a noble bastard and his grandfather is an actual metaphoric one. Still, Jamie is convinced that he can rally his grandsire to his cause. He’s so happy and upbeat and confident about it that he let’s his enthusiasm bubble over into the bedroom.

So Claire and Jamie hit the road to visit The Old Fox. The plan is this: Convince him to join the cause and lend support with money and manpower. The problem is this: Jamie’s scheming uncle Colum McKenzie is there to get The Old Fox to sign a “Neutrality Pact” that would effectively keep the sly old assholes out of the war and out of trouble. The other problem? The Old Fox is a dick. He’s a sleaze bag and a schemer and he gives Jamie an ultimatum: Either Jamie gives him Lallybroch or Jamie doesn’t get any support. There’s also something about how he’ll rape Claire in there. Like I said, he’s a creep!

Hey, did you notice who specifically The Old Fox was creeping on there? Yeah, it’s motherfucking Laoghaire. She’s there, too. In case you’ve forgotten, Laoghaire is the blonde chick who was so head over heels for Jamie that she would plant “ill wishes” under our favorite couple’s bridal bed. Things got really bad when Jamie rejected her advances in the woods and so Laoghaire did what any normal, sane woman would do: She got Claire framed for witchcraft in the hopes that she would burn. There was also something about how Laoghaire wanted to dance on Claire’s ashes. It was all very not chill.

So when Laoghaire approaches her dressed like a sad pilgrim and begging for forgiveness, Claire is not buying it.

Still, Claire sees a way for Laoghaire to be useful. The Old Fox has a wispy dreamer of a son named Young Simon. The kid wants his dad to join the good fight, but is constantly shot down. Claire notices that Young Simon has the hots for Puritan Barbie Laoghaire. She conspires to set the two up so that Young Simon is inspired to stand up to his dad to impress Laoghaire. If it all goes according to plan, Claire will say nice things to Jamie about Laoghaire.

Claire hangs out in a chapel while Laoghaire works on Young Simon. Here, Claire runs into The Old Fox’s personal seer. She tells Claire that she’s hiding a dark vision from her master. He is doomed to fall under an executioner’s axe. The problem is she can’t tell which king he’ll betray. Obviously, this intel could be convenient for something.

And so it is! When Jamie refuses to give up his ancestral home, The Old Fox moves to sign the Neutrality Pact. Claire decides to trade in on the rumors that she is La Dame Blanche. Claire recounts the seer’s vision, but she adds this twist: The Old Fox betrays the Jacobites.

The Old Fox freaks out and lunges for Claire. And this is it: This is what Laoghaire flashed her boobs offscreen for. Young Simon stands up to his dad and declares that they should join the Rebellion. Sadly, it does not impress his dad. He declares neutrality.

Still, there’s a silver lining: Jamie keeps Lallybroch and that Young Simon is joining the cause. Their small band of rebels leaves for certain death and on the road they are stopped by The Old Fox and his men. It turns out the wily bastard is going to play both sides. He’s letting Young Simon lead his men into the fray, all while staying out of it himself.

And that’s it! Our heroes have hope! Our heroes have love! Our heroes have gotten the hell out of Paris.

Onward, Outlander! Onward to more Scottish highlands and more hot sex scenes!